Expert Claims ‘Nothing Traumatic’ Will Happen If You Lick the Subway Poles

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Photo: Dana Rubinstein

If you’ve ever been gripped by the urge to lick a subway pole, don’t tell anyone because that’s really disgusting. You can, however, discreetly breathe a sigh of relief: Your MTA make-out sesh won’t infect you with any “traumatic” germs, at least according to a new study. “You wouldn’t want to lick all the poles, even though you’d probably be fine,” Dr. Chris Mason told Gothamist. “Wash your hands and don’t walk around with a gaping wound.” God, I hate when so-called “doctors” tell me what to do.