Montana Lawmaker Wants to Ban Yoga Pants

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Montana state representative David Moore is so disgusted by these things called “human bodies” that he has introduced a new bill that will ban them from public once and for all. HB 365 would prohibit public nudity as well as “any device, costume, or covering that gives the appearance of or simulates the genitals, pubic hair, anus region, or pubic hair region.” That means you, yoga pants.

But don’t worry, Redditors: not all yoga pants would be made illegal in the fine state of Montana — just those tan ones that are made to resemble flesh. This is, of course, much to the chagrin of Representative Moore, who, based on the information provided, we must assume is a Never Nude.

Yoga pants should be illegal in public anyway,” Moore reportedly said in a statement after the hearing.

To be fair, he’s also banning men from showing their nipples in public, which is really a public service. Nobody needs to see those.