Canadian MP Blames Tight Underwear for Brief Absence

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Not the briefs in questionPhoto: Robert Recker/Corbis

Winnipeg MP Pat Martin left his seat during a session of Parliament on Thursday and needed to come up with a good excuse so the majority party wouldn’t throw out his vote for breaking the rules. 

He told his colleagues that reasonably priced undies were to blame. 

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Mr. Speaker, I realize I did inadvertently leave my seat briefly in the middle of the debate. I can blame it on a sale that was held at the Hudson’s Bay. They had a bunch on for half-price. I bought a bunch that was clearly too small for me, and I find it difficult to sit for any length of time, Mr. Speaker. So I apologize if it was necessary for me to leave my seat briefly, but I did not mean to forfeit my right to vote.”

The chamber laughed, and Martin’s vote was upheld. He later told the Winnipeg Sun that this was a situation his constituents would surely understand. “It is a matter of civic pride for Winnipeggers that nobody pays full price for anything, 50% off is like catnip to a Winnipegger.” He added, “I have never had so much attention paid to my underwear.”

The real reason that Martin left his seat is far less amusing: He needed to ask the speaker what he was about to vote on. 

Martin was previously best known for his views on zombies and the fact that they do not recognize borders.

The chamber laughed, and Martin’s vote was upheld. He later told the Winnipeg Sun that this was a situation his constituents would surely understand. “It is a matter of civic pride for Winnipeggers that nobody pays full price for anything, 50% off is like catnip to a Winnipegger.” He added, “I have never had so much attention paid to my underwear.”

The real reason that Martin left his seat is far less amusing: He needed to ask the speaker what he was about to vote on. 

Martin was previously best known for his views on zombies and the fact that they do not recognize borders.