John McCain Wants to Know More About His Imaginary Chat With Ted Cruz

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WASHINGTON, DC - MAY 14: Sen. John McCain (R-AZ) testifies before a Senate Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee hearing on the state of video, on Capitol Hill May 14, 2013 in Washington, DC.  The committee discussed unbundling cable services and the impact of changing technology, among other topics. (Photo by Allison Shelley/Getty Images)
John McCain.Photo: Allison Shelley/2013 Getty Images

Here’s a good life lesson from Senator John McCain: If you’re going to stretch the truth, make sure your lies don’t hinge on someone who’s made it abundantly clear that they hate you. Senator Ted Cruz learned this the hard way after claiming in New Hampshire on Sunday that he’s “pressing” McCain to hold hearings on allowing soldiers to carry concealed firearms on military bases. “You know, I was fascinated to hear that because I haven’t heard a thing about it from him. Nor has my staff heard from his staff. Where did that come from? I have not a clue,” McCain said on Monday. “I’d be glad to discuss the issue and see if we need a hearing, but it came as a complete surprise to me that he had been pressing me.”

And McCain still wasn’t done with his “wacko bird.” “Maybe it was through some medium that I’m not familiar with. Maybe bouncing it off the ozone layer, for all I know,” he quipped. “There’s a lot of holes in the ozone layer, so maybe it wasn’t the ozone layer that he bounced it off of. Maybe it was through hand telegraph, maybe sign language, who knows?” Finally, McCain enlisted reporters to help him continue shaming Cruz: “Ask him how he communicated with me because I’d be very interested,” he said. “Who knows what I’m missing?”