Company That Provides Your Slow, Terrible Internet to Be Acquired for $55 Billion

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Photo: Mark Lennihan/AP/Corbis

Charter Communications, America’s fourth-largest cable company, has agreed to buy Time Warner Cable for $56.7 billion. That’s right: The company that consistently distributes broken modems, can’t figure out how to install your cable in a timely fashion, and cuts out during Rangers overtime is worth nearly 57 billion dollars. The sale will make Charter the second-largest cable provider in America behind Comcast. Congratulations to all rich men involved on your continued success.