Mitt Romney Teases Evander Holyfield Boxing Match, Achieves Peak Romney

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Mitt Romney and Evander Holyfield shake hands after an official weigh-in Thursday, May 14, 2015, in Holladay, Utah. Photo: Rick Bowmer/AP/Corbis

You would’ve thought the moment would have come at some point during the 2012 campaign, or maybe during the documentary Mitt, but somehow the former Republican presidential candidate just managed to distill his “out of touch rich uncle” persona to its purest essence. On Friday night, Romney will allow himself to be hit by former heavyweight champion Evander Holyfield for a good cause; the charity boxing match in Salt Lake City will raise money for CharityVision, which helps local doctors perform eye surgeries in poor areas around the world. To promote the event, he had a chat with the New York Times’ Mark Leibovich and unintentionally referenced various Romney classics, including ironing a tuxedo while wearing it and his surprise that a tall man wasn’t “in sport.”

Romney revealed that his son has dubbed him “the Glove,” and his entrance music is “I Will Survive.” When asked to confirm that he’s scheduled for three rounds, Romney explained some boxing basics:

Or less. And between rounds, there will be young women holding up round numbers walking in the ring.

Here’s how he described what he’ll wear during the fight:

I was affectionately known as Bird Legs during high school. I’m afraid the bird legs will be unveiled one more time. But I’m very pleased that Under Armour has agreed to sponsor the bout. They have graciously sent me their apparel items, which I will avail myself of

We will come in tuxedos. Then I will change. My son has procured a red silk robe complete with hood. And I’ll have red silk shorts.

And when asked if he’ll engage in some intimidation tactics, he said:

I will get in Evander’s face with compliments and good humor. I want to keep him very happy and very friendly.

Sure enough, as the two men faced off at their weigh-in on Thursday, Romney crouched down to make himself shorter and Holyfield quickly cracked up. Romney also parodied his image in this promotional video, saying, “I don’t have much of a right hook, but when I get somebody’s ear, I can be pretty formidable.”

New rule: Every failed presidential candidate must participate in a charity boxing match, complete with a lovable, self-deprecating promotional campaign.