North Korea announced this week that it has created a miracle vaccine that can treat Ebola, HIV, “a number of cancers,” and MERS — the disease that has killed 24 people in South Korea in the past month. The cure, known as Kumdang-2, is made from ginseng grown in fertilizer made from “rare-earth elements” and “micro-quantities of gold and platinum,” according to the Korean Central News Agency, a news organization. The country did not provide any proof that this amazing drug exists or has ever cured anyone of any illness. Other significant scientific discoveries claimed by North Korea include the discovery of a unicorn lair in 2012, the invention of the hamburger, and learning how to never go to the bathroom. North Korea has yet to figure out how to solve the worst drought it has seen in 100 years, or how to eat endless amounts of cheese without getting sick.