Some Conservatives Are Pretty Freaked-out by the Same-Sex Marriage Ruling

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Glenn Beck Hosts Controversial "Restoring Honor" Rally At Lincoln Memorial
Photo: Alex Wong/2010 Getty Images

For many Americans, today’s Supreme Court decision establishing the right to same-sex marriage means looking forward to nice weddings, less complicated tax filings, and the satisfaction that comes with not being explicitly considered a second-class citizen by the federal government. But for others, the ruling ushered in something much more sinister. Below, we’ve rounded up some of the most extreme right-wing fears, predictions, and fightin’ words for the United States’ new, more gay-friendly future.

The folks at Fox News were predictably upset by the ruling, with anchor Martha MacCallum wondering if polygamy is next. “We’re three people and we love each other and we want to be a ‘marriage.’ What’s to prevent that under this?” “I don’t know that there is,” replied Greta Van Susteren said. “I mean, that will have to wind up to the Supreme Court.” The more the merrier! 

Louisiana governor and presidential candidate Bobby Jindal released a statement saying, “This decision will pave the way for an all out assault against the religious freedom rights of Christians who disagree with this decision. This ruling must not be used as pretext by Washington to erode our right to religious liberty.”

Thankfully, he also offered a solution: “The Supreme Court is completely out of control, making laws on their own, and has become a public opinion poll instead of a judicial body. If we want to save some money lets just get rid of the court.” (As we learned from his dissent this morning, Justice Scalia might be okay with Jindal’s plan.) Meanwhile, Jindal’s administration said that Louisiana would continue not to recognize same-sex marriages, at least for now:

Current state law is still in effect until the courts order us otherwise,” said Mike Reed, Jindal’s spokesman in the governor’s office.

“There is not yet a legal requirement for officials to issue marriage licenses or perform marriages for same-sex couples in Louisiana,” [Attorney General Buddy Caldwell] said in a written statement.

Another right-wing presidential candidate, Mike Huckabee, vowed to keep fighting: “I will not acquiesce to an imperial court any more than our founders acquiesced to an imperial British monarch. We must resist and reject judicial tyranny, not retreat.”

Texas’s Republican governor, Greg Abbott, did the same

As I have done in the past, I will continue to defend the religious liberties of all Texans—including those whose conscience dictates that marriage is only the union of one man and one woman. Later today, I will be issuing a directive to state agencies instructing them to prioritize the protection of Texans’ religious liberties,” he said in a statement.

“Five Justices on the Supreme Court have imposed on the entire country their personal views on an issue that the Constitution and the Court’s previous decisions reserve to the people of the States,” he said. “Despite the Supreme Court’s rulings, Texans’ fundamental right to religious liberty remains protected. No Texan is required by the Supreme Court’s decision to act contrary to his or her religious beliefs regarding marriage.”

Much like his Louisiana counterpart, Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton asked state officials to hold off on same-sex marriage licenses until the lower court has its say. “I would recommend that all county clerks and justices of the peace wait for direction and clarity from this office about the meaning of the court’s opinion and the rights of Texans under the law,” said Paxton. “No court, no law, no rule, and no words will change the simple truth that marriage is the union of one man and one woman. Nothing will change the importance of a mother and a father to the raising of a child. And nothing will change our collective resolve that all Americans should be able to exercise their faith in their daily lives without infringement and harassment.” (As of Thursday afternoon, at least a few counties were ignoring his request.)

Finally, Glenn Beck prepared his listeners for a big showdown:

This is going to change everything. They have now changed the definition of marriage,” Beck said on his radio show. “That’s not really what I’m concerned about. I am concerned about now, what this means to you, if you believe in traditional marriage.”

For today, Beck was willing to celebrate the country’s ability to be “tolerant” of same-sex couples. “But by tomorrow, and the coming days, you will see that that is not what this is going to mean,” he said, predicting that LGBT Americans won’t “stop” at marriage, but will instead move on to infringing on the rights of everyone else.

“You said this is about love, you said this is about who you love,” he continued. “Is it? Because now it must stop. Now you’re on equal footing. Now are you going to say, ‘I want to crush you and your rights?’ And that is what’s coming. Our churches had better wake up, because game is on now.”

It’s not clear which rights Beck believes are in danger, exactly, but rest assured that he’ll be there to stand up for them. Everyone else should feel free to celebrate.