Government Ashley Madison Users Have a Friend in Rand Paul

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Husband of the Year Rand Paul.Photo: Ethan Miller/Getty Images

Those exposed by the Ashley Madison hack may have found their 2016 candidate. As many as 15,000 accounts listed in the data dump have been linked to government computers, and federal workers could face disciplinary action for misusing government property. The situation is even more serious for military employees, as adultery can be a crime under the Uniform Code of Military Justice. But despite his notorious disdain for the excesses of the federal government, Senator Rand Paul said on Tuesday that he doesn’t want to see any potential cheaters disciplined. “I don’t know if adultery is against the law still,” Paul said, according to the Washington Post. “In some states, there are old laws against adultery, but I think if we start going after people and locking people up for adultery we’re headed for a bizarre world.”

Lest anyone think that Paul is a cheating enthusiast, he initially claimed he had no idea what Ashley Madison is. “I keep seeing that headline, but I’m terrible — I don’t know what it is,” Paul said. “So, she has done something illicit?” Paul’s spokesman explained he’s been traveling in Kentucky and Haiti recently and hasn’t been keeping up with the news — or he’s just really smooth. Later he proudly underscored his innocence when it comes to cyberadultery, saying, “My wife will be happy that I’d never heard of this Web site.”