New York City officials arrested five people in the past month who allegedly tried to disguise cocaine shipments from Puerto Rico by wrapping them in birthday wrapping paper and placing them in packages next to Frozen- and Minions-themed stuffed animals. “Kilos of cocaine were disguised as children’s birthday gifts, and shipped alongside innocent looking Olaf dolls and other toys, in a failed attempt to conceal the sinister contents,” a special narcotics prosecutor said.
Before the alleged high-level trafficker, 24-year-old Albert Fortosa, was arrested for accepting an incriminating package of Minions, authorities had intercepted five other packages filled with $225,000 worth of cocaine. The four other men charged — one of whom is accused of running a drug delivery service in Bushwick — sold cocaine, heroin, Xanax, and MDMA to undercover officers 20 different times. The men were hit with a 71-count indictment and have probably learned that involving Minions — who, according to Wikipedia, are “small, yellow creatures who have existed since the beginning of time [serving] history’s most villainous masters [and] accidentally killing nearly all of them with their incompetence” — was a bad idea.