Scott Walker, a 47-Year-Old Man, Blames Bald Spot on Violent Sink Encounter

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Presidential Candidates Stump At Iowa State Fair
Photo: Justin Sullivan/2015 Getty Images

I’ve got a clean bill of health,” Scott Walker recently told the Washington Post. The Republican presidential candidate went on to say that his physical problems are limited to dog and cat allergies, “a little bit of eczema,” and a bald spot, “which he [said] is the result of having bumped his head while fixing a sink years ago and not natural aging.” Whatever gives you the confidence to take on Marco Rubio and his flowing mane, dude.