Donald Trump Releases New Teaser for His Exciting Obamacare Sequel

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Republican 2016 U.S. presidential candidate businessman Donald Trump answers a question at the first official Republican presidential candidates debate of the 2016 U.S. presidential campaign in Cleveland
Photo: BRIAN SNYDER/© Corbis. All Rights Reserved.

One possible reason for Donald Trump’s poll numbers, besides a possible iocane powder-esque immunity to criticism? His Obamacare alternative is far more exciting than any of his opponents’ plans.

Now, it’s not exactly clear what he would specifically do to change Obamacare if elected. Like most sequels, Trump’s version of the Affordable Care Act sounds a lot like the original, except with 100 percent more adjectives and gratuitous, if compelling, special effects. 

President Trump would “repeal and replace [Obamacare] with something terrific,” “work out some sort of a really smart deal with hospitals across the country,” and “try and help those people […] at the lower end, where people have no money.” The Republican presidential candidate has also noted that he “may be different than other people” because he wants “to take care of everybody.”

In an interview with Fox News on Tuesday night, he noted that in his version of health care, “you can get everything in Obamacare, but much more.”

In case anyone watching did not realize this was the solution they were waiting for, he added, “One of the first things I’d do if I get elected, end Obamacare and do something really good.” (He briefly mentioned that he liked the idea of letting consumers buy insurance across state lines and offering health-care savings accounts.)

It’s an amazing system,” he said, noting that his plan would also be much cheaper than Obamacare.

In the upcoming weeks before the next primary debate, voters will get the chance to learn more specifics about Trump’s health-care plan, perhaps the fact that it’s spectacular, super-super-luxury, so great that it seems shocking no one has proposed it before, and that it maybe entails Trump personally buying everyone in the country health insurance, Oprah’s Favorite Things–style, which will be revealed when the audience at the October debate is asked to look under their chairs.