New York Magazine Competition No. 56: Make a Movie Polite

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Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays, we lay out a challenge and offer sample responses. Enter in the comments section or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.

COMPETITION NO. 56: “MAKE A MOVIE POLITE.” Please retitle a film for an easily offended audience.  For example:

DANG YANKEES

THE KISSING FIELDS

UNDER-THE-WEATHER POETS SOCIETY

THE TIFF OF THE ROSES

Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #makeamoviepolite, or in the comments thread below, by September 23.

RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 55, "BROOKLYN A BOOK," in which you were asked to retitle a novel for New York’s literary borough of late.

HONORABLE MENTION TO:

Go Set a Smart Watch
clippityclop

The Handmaid’s Kale
nycityofmind

The Handmade’s Tale
CourtneyPickles 

Naked Brunch
@michi_rei

Everybody Stoops
FlirtySanchez 

To Tattoo a Mockingbird on Your Neck
JDuggity 

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Getting Into the School of Your Choice 
@TheodoreArt

Gone With The F****g  Wind
robstumpf 

Of Mice and the Morgan Stop
sittingatmydesk 

A Tree Grows Right Frickin’ Here
@AARPRI_TheFeed  

Good in Bed-Stuy
thelisareid 

Fifty Smells of Gowanus
@latoyadjordan

Sheepshead Revisited
RustyShackelford 

Three Men and An Artisanal Pickle Startup
rgqueen 

Animal Farm-to-Table
Lukenator 

Zen and the Art of Bicycle Maintenance
RubyBaby 

The Importance Of Being Nathan’s Famous
rmtmiller 

A Room With A View Starts at $1,200
kthxbye 

$19.84 For A Grilled Cheese Sandwich
ESKBQ 

Willy Wonka and the Domino Sugar Factory
sirbakesalot 

My Struggle to Find A Sublet
3North 

Five Easy Pizzas
Lexxman

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Microbrewed IPA
DanielGalef

Murder on the Utica Avenue Express
Periclescrystal

Tinder is the Night 
cszek

Native Son Priced Out
Hal10034

The Postman Always Rings Twice When Delivering Etsy Packages
@muddymudskipper  

AND THE WINNER IS:

The Brothers Kościuszko
@jeffkies