Strongman Chris Christie Fully Prepared to Start WWIII

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Republican Candidates Take Part In Debates At Reagan Library In Simi Valley
Photo: Justin Sullivan/Getty Images

GOP presidential candidate Chris Christie knows how he’d handle Russia’s intervention in Syria, and — with his poll numbers in the low single digits — he’s not afraid to let everyone know.

In an MSNBC interview in which he referred to President Obama as "this weakling in the White House," Christie imagined himself taking a hard line with President Vladimir Putin (or just plain old "Vladimir," as Christie seems to call him). "My first phone call would be to Vladimir, and I’d say, ‘Listen, we’re enforcing this no-fly zone. And I mean we’re enforcing it against anyone, including you,’" he said. "So don’t try me. Don’t try me. Because I’ll do it." Got it, buddy?

Just in case he didn’t make himself clear the first time, Christie later told Fox News what he’d do if Russian warplanes breached the aforementioned no-fly zone: “You take [them] down.” But Americans needn’t worry themselves over the New Jersey strongman’s apparent eagerness to kick off WWIII, as he will never be president.