New York Magazine Competition No. 60: Sidelines of the Famous

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Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays, we lay out a challenge and offer sample responses. Enter in the comments section or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.

COMPETITION NO. 60: “SIDELINES OF THE FAMOUS.” Please invent a fictional business, with tagline, that a well-known person might run. For example:

WALT WHITMAN LAWN CARE: I can tame multitudes of weeds.

RICHARD NIXON STUDIOS: We record, you decide.

DE BLASIO CLOCK REPAIR

VIRGINIA WOOLF INTERIOR DESIGN: Rooms of one’s own.

CARRY NATION GLASS RECYCLING

Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #sidelinesofthefamous, or in the comments thread below, by November 18.

RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 59, SWAP A LETTER, RUIN A SONG,” in which you were asked for a nicely mangled song title.

HONORABLE MENTION TO:

Scones From an Italian Restaurant
MalcolmMerriweather

Coal Miner’s Laughter
Kevin McDonnell

Beet the Mets
Lexxman

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Mace
rmtmiller

When You’re Smiting
BobKopac

I Can Pee for Miles
—portable

Hit Me With Your Best Snot
—24thand9

Shave it Off
@nycbozo

Killing Me Softly (With His Dong)
BENLINUS99

Heart Shaped Lox
YAK52

Bed Blood
@jessie_mai

You Don’t Mess Around with Rim
BambooLounge

Bennie And The Jews
RustyShackelford

Blame it on the Loogie
chungsotheby

Kelp!
MiddleCoastDan

Comfortably Dumb
eviliguana

Shame It Off
FlirtySanchez

Brandy (You’re a Nine Girl)
rgqueen

Born in The C.S.A.
@DannyGroner

Both Sides, Cow
nycityofmind  

Moon Liver
FlirtySanchez

Why Let The Dogs Out?
—3North

AND THE WINNER IS:

F Canada
AlienIncognito