FIFA Chief Sepp Blatter Is Hospitalized for Breakdown

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BRITAIN-LIFESTYLE-FBL-FIFA-CORRUPTION-BLATTER-OFFBEAT
This giant effigy of Blatter was recently burned in the U.K.Photo: JACK TAYLOR

Sepp Blatter, the recently suspended president of FIFA, global soccer’s governing organization, has been hospitalized for what’s being called a “small emotional breakdown.”

Blatter, 79, ignored his doctor’s orders to take five days’ rest. But then he canceled a TV appearance and suffered a “nervous shock.” 

According to Blatter’s spokesperson, he’ll likely remain in a Zurich hospital until early next week, but he’s already bouncing back. “He’s laughing and his whole charm is back,” Klaus Stoehlker said. “He’s a little bit weak so that’s why he will stay until he’s fully recovered.”

My brain and my heart are always fine, my body is letting me down,” Blatter reportedly said.

Of course Sepp’s stressed. In addition to the Swiss attorney general’s criminal investigation into the disgraced soccer chief’s shady dealings, and his recent 90-day suspension as that organization’s president, Britons like to burn Blatters at bonfires. In the small south England town of Sussex, massive effigies — including one where Blatter sits in a boat of cash with “THIEFA” scrawled on the bow — were torched during their annual Bonfire Night celebration. 

Blatter intends to keep fighting despite his massive unpopularity as soccer’s most powerful leader. His spokesperson relayed these words: “His most important message is that he is fully preparing himself to go ahead with his fight against his 90-day suspension. He is deeply convinced that the ethics commission cannot force him out,” Stoehlker said.