Missouri Bill Calls Sex Between Lobbyists and Lawmakers a ‘Gift’

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After a scandal involving an intern, the name Frank Underwood, and a smirk emoji forced a Missouri lawmaker to resign last year, the State Legislature is cracking down on ethics. On Wednesday, Missouri House Speaker Todd Richardson opened the 2016 session by encouraging lawmakers to submit single-issue ethics bills, and today it seems they’ve complied — so much so that a bill introduced by Republican representative Bart Korman mandates lobbyists claim sex with legislators on their monthly gift disclosure forms.

Here’s the exact wording: 

For purposes of subdivision (2) of this subsection, the term “gift” shall include sexual relations between a registered lobbyist and a member of the general assembly or his or her staff. Relations between married persons or between persons who entered into a relationship prior to the registration of the lobbyist, the election of the member to the general assembly, or the employment of the staff person shall not be reportable under this subdivision. The reporting of sexual relations for purposes of this subdivision shall not require a dollar valuation.

Because who could put a dollar valuation on some good, old-fashioned lobbyist lovin’? And to all those Missouri lobbyists out there, you know what to do:

What’s more, according to the bill, that information would be open to the public: “All information required to be filed pursuant … shall be kept available by the executive director of the commission at all times open to the public for inspection and copying for a reasonable fee for a period of five years from the date when such information was filed.” So maybe Korman really believes in transparency — or maybe he’s really, really bitter.