Oregon Militants Literally Toot Their Own Horns, Er, Shofars

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"Snaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaacks!"

Despite a totally sincere promise to meet last Friday to discuss an “exit plan,” the members of an armed militia are still occupying the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Burns, Oregon. They’re hungry, they’re angry, and they’re still trying to wash the last traces of glitter out of their manly beards. It would also seem they’re tired of sitting up there in Burns all by themselves. On Monday they sent out a call for backup: a 36-second clip of themselves blowing into three-foot-long horns while surrounded by barren, snowy fields. 

SHARE UPDATE BURNS OREGON! CHRISTIANS THE BATTLE TRUMPET HAS BEEN SOUNDED TIME TO RISE! CALL TO ACTION SEND IN THE TROOPS TO STAND WITH US IN BURNS OREGON!

Posted by Blaine Cooper on Sunday, January 17, 2016

In part because he’s never heard of Snapchat, militiaman Blaine Cooper shared this video on Facebook with the following caption:

SHARE UPDATE BURNS OREGON! CHRISTIANS THE BATTLE TRUMPET HAS BEEN SOUNDED TIME TO RISE! CALL TO ACTION SEND IN THE TROOPS TO STAND WITH US IN BURNS OREGON!

The “battle trumpets” in question happen to be shofars, which are the ram’s horns traditionally blown during synagogue services on Jewish holidays. However, they’ve been adopted by some Evangelical Christians to show support for the Jewish Zionist movement; Christian Zionists believe that the Jews’ return to the Holy Land is foretold in the Bible.

By posting this video, Cooper has raised a slew of questions: Are the Oregon militiamen also pro-Israel? How many cuts did it take to achieve this degree of harmony? Exactly how bored are they up there? And, most important, was there a shofar dick sword fight?

Oregon Militants Literally Toot Their Own Horns