New York Magazine Competition No. 66: Near-Miss Songs

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Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays (or, this week, Tuesday), we lay out a challenge and offer sample responses. Enter in the comments section or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.

COMPETITION NO. 66: "NEAR-MISS SONGS." Please offer a title that almost works. For example:

(I DID IT) AMWAY

MAN-HANDS ACROSS THE WATER

THE TOOL ON THE HILL

Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #nearmisssongs, or in the comments thread below, by February 17.

RESULTS OF COMPETITION No. 65, BANDS FOR SNOWMAGEDDON,” in which you were asked to rename a performer or band in keeping with winter storm season.

HONORABLE MENTION TO:

Sleety Dan
—RubyBaby

Sleigher
MiddleCoastDan

Jefferson Airplane Grounded Due to Weather Conditions
FlirtySanchez

Snow Doubt
RustyShackelford

Tom Petty and the Icebreakers
clippityclop

Ol’ Chilly Bastard
AlienIncognito

Alice in Snow Chains
rgqueen

Run Y’ Noses
—Econpete

Nat King Cold
j_son

Emerson, Lake Effect & Palmer
BobKopac

Sister Slush
Periclescrystal

Bruce Springsteen and the E Sleet Band
—3North

Queens of the Ice Age
@shipleywriter

AND THE WINNER IS:

Can’t Heat
kaboomm



Competition No. 66: Near-Miss Songs