Donald Trump Reportedly Thinking About Nominating Peter Thiel, a Man Who Plans to Never Die, to the Supreme Court

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As part of his effort to leave a truly lasting mark on the United States, Donald Trump is reportedly looking to grant Peter Thiel — an eccentric, vindictive man who does not intend to die — a lifelong position interpreting the Constitution on behalf of all Americans. “Sources close” to Trump and Thiel have told the Huffington Post that the probably-not-a-billionaire Republican nominee is interested in appointing the definitely-a-billionaire Paypal founder to the Supreme Court. “It’s not clear whether Trump has indeed offered to nominate Thiel,” HuffPo reports, “only that Thiel has said Trump would nominate him and that Trump’s team has discussed Thiel as a possible nominee.” Representatives for both men denied the report, which could mean anything, given who we’re talking about.

In more conventional SCOTUS news: Merrick Garland, President Obama’s pick to replace Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia, still has yet to get anywhere close to a confirmation hearing, and it seems increasingly likely that he never will. In a Wednesday morning radio interview, Hillary Clinton said that, should she have the opportunity to appoint someone to the Court, she would “look broadly and widely” for a nominee who represents the country’s “diversity,” suggesting that she might skip over the moderate white guy who’s been waiting patiently in D.C. since March. However, Bloomberg notes, “Clinton did not preclude Garland’s confirmation in the congressional lame-duck session after the election, and didn’t explicitly rule out re-nominating him.” Still, it seems that Clinton has kind of forgotten about Garland, just like everybody else.