New York Magazine Competition No. 77: Lose a T

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Welcome back to the New York Magazine Competition. On alternate Mondays, we lay out a challenge and offer sample responses. Enter in the comments section, or on Twitter with the hashtag we’ve provided, and the editors will select a winner. Criteria are highly subjective, but heavily retweeted and favorited posts will have an advantage. The prize is a year’s subscription to New York in print or a two-year subscription to the iPad edition (winner’s choice). Full rules are here.

COMPETITION NO. 77: “LOSE A T.” Please alter a title thus, and redefine it accordingly. For example:

UPPERWARE: Dental appliance that stays fresh for days.

HENRY IV, PAR I: Untold story of royal golfing.

NAIVE SON: “Racism? That’s ancient history.”

Enter on Twitter with the hashtag #loseaT, or in the comments thread below, by September 22.

RESULTS OF COMPETITION NO. 76, “I’M NOT A POLITICIAN,” in which you were to contribute a name and slogan for an outsider candidate.

HONORABLE MENTION TO:

Melania Knauss: Change We Can Believe In
BJAMCOB

Gene Wilder: Come with me, and we’ll be in a world of pure imagination!
BobKopac

Aretha Franklin: Because America Needs a Little Respect
—ragman1940

Tim Gunn: It’s time to make it work.
—@debfreedman1

BUBBIE: What’s not to like?
BKoplow

Severus Snape : Always.
BENLINUS99

Ben-Hur: I’m with Hur.
kaboomm

Bruce Springsteen: Born to Run
—‏@JoshuaBeckmanMD

Ryan Lochte: I’m Not Doing Anything Else Right Now!
Albacorps

John McEnroe: I’m Here to Serve
Lexxman

Satan: You’ve seen worse!
rmtmiller

Jeff Bridges for President or Prez or Prezzer or El Prezzerino if you’re not into the whole brevity thing.
HudsonRiver

Willie Nelson: A Chicken And Lots Of Pot!
—3North

Daenerys Targaryen: Or Else…
ggreg

Tom Brady: End Inflation Without a Trace
rbison

God: Because he says so.
lessadoabouteverything

Bernie Madoff: Hey, You Voted For Trump
RealityCzech

AND THE WINNER IS:

Mona Lisa: : )
clippityclop

New York Competition No. 77: Lose a T