Donald Trump Releases a Tiny Bit of Actual Medical Information

By

Ahead of the Thursday airing of his Dr. Oz Show appearance, Donald Trump has released a small amount of medical information in the form of a letter from his personal physician, the meme-able Dr. Harold Bornstein.

The note is an improvement on the Manhattan-based gastroenterologist’s last public assessment of Trump’s health — in which he attested to the candidate’s “strength and stamina” and claimed that he would be “the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency” — in that it contains some numbers, though it still leaves plenty out. According to Bornstein, the Republican nominee’s cholesterol level is 169, with high-density lipoproteins at 63 and low-density lipoproteins at 94. Also noted are his blood pressure (116 over 70), and levels of triglycerides (61), blood sugar (99), and prostate-specific antigens (.15). A recent colonoscopy, EKG, chest X-ray, cardiac evaluation, and liver and thyroid tests were all described as “normal.” In what sort of sounds like the beginning of a Chuck Norris fact, Bornstein wrote that Trump “was hospitalized only once, as a child of 11 years old for an appendectomy.” Finally, he said that Trump is six-foot-three and 236 pounds, but somehow refrained from offering a measurement of his hands.