Alex Jones: Sources Confirm Clinton and Obama Are Smelly Demons From Hell

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Alex Jones hard at work.Photo: Oli Scarff/Getty Images

Apparently confounded that calling people secret Muslims doesn’t terrify Americans as much as it used to, conspiracy theorist, right-wing crackpot radio host, and, it goes without saying, close Donald Trump ally Alex Jones decided to change tack yesterday. He reported on his radio show that Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama aren’t Kenyan, Muslim, criminal ISIS leaders — or at least they aren’t only Kenyan, Muslim, criminal ISIS leaders — but are, in fact, honest-to-God demons from hell.

How could he tell? Well, it was the flies, you see. And also, they stink.

Jones kicked off with some run-of-the-mill Alex Jones–style hyperbole — “She is an abject, psychopathic, demon from Hell that as soon as she gets into power is going to try to destroy the planet” — before reaching his stride with the whole demon thing.

“People around her say she’s so dark now, and so evil, and so possessed that they are having nightmares, they’re freaking out,” he said. And if second-hand rumors about bad dreams aren’t enough to convince you, Jones has proof: “There are dozens of videos and photos of Obama having flies land on him, indoors, at all times of year, and he’ll be next to a hundred people and no one has flies on them.”

Remember that house fly that made a brief appearance at Sunday’s debate and a big splash on Twitter? Well, boy, do we feel like shoddy journalists for not recognizing that fly for what it was: a demonic portent from the very depths of hell.

Speaking of shoddy journalists, Jones is not one, because he has sources, okay?

“I mean, I was told by people around her that they think she’s demon-possessed, okay? I’m just going to go ahead and say it, okay? … They said that they’re scared.”

Okay!

Jones even managed to spin Clinton’s refusal to be good friends with American adversary Vladimir Putin to confirm she is a demon: “This is Biblical. She’s going to launch a nuclear war. The Russians are scared of her.”

And then he got insulting.

“Imagine how bad she smells, man? I’m told her and Obama, just stink, stink, stink, stink. You can’t wash that evil off, man. Told there’s a rotten smell around Hillary. I’m not kidding, people say, they say – folks, I’ve been told this by high up folks. They say listen, Obama and Hillary both smell like sulfur … I’ve talked to people that are in protective details, they’re scared of her. And they say listen, she’s a frickin’ demon and she stinks and so does Obama. I go, like what? Sulfur. They smell like hell.”

Now, we have a feeling that Jones mostly said this to garner media attention, because that’s exactly what he said repeatedly: “Folks let me just tell you something, and if media wants to go with this, that’s fine,” he said, adding, “I never said this because the media will go crazy with it.”

And normally we like to think we wouldn’t indulge him, but this is a man from whom real-life presidential candidate Donald Trump has borrowed some of his favorite campaign bombshells — such as Barack Obama was born in Kenya, the Chinese invented climate change, and the Clintons murdered Vince Foster.

Both Trump and his adviser Roger Stone have appeared on Jones’s show, and Trump even gushed to him, “Your reputation is amazing. I will not let you down.”

Now actual journalists who have interviewed both President Obama and Hillary Clinton are making statements that neither of them, in fact, smell bad. And that, America, says a lot.