Which Mexican Border-Wall Prototype Is the Worst?

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Mexico’s not gonna pay for any of these. Photo: Guillermo Arias/AFP/Getty Images

NBC News reported on Monday night that, after months of delay, prototypes for President Trump’s proposed border wall with Mexico had at last been unveiled, in a swath of desert outside San Diego. Four of the models are made out of concrete, four are made out of alternate materials, and all eight are morally reprehensible.

But which of them are aesthetically reprehensible, too? Below, a brief review of each model, along with the odds that they’ll become a border-spanning reality:

Prototype No. 1:

Design grade: B+

Key attribute: Soothing slat design belies horror of wall’s existence.

Chances of actually being built: Zero.

Photo: Guillermo Arias/AFP/Getty Images

Prototype No. 2:

Design grade: C+

Key attribute: Light-toned wood makes vulgar anti-Trump graffiti more visible from a distance.

Chances of actually being built: Zero.

Photo: Guillermo Arias/AFP/Getty Images

Prototype No. 3:

Design grade: D

Key attribute: Already looks like project that was abandoned 40 years ago.

Chances of actually being built: Zero.

Photo: Guillermo Arias/AFP/Getty Images

Prototype No. 4:

Design grade: C-

Key attribute: Most closely resembles monolith from 2001.

Chances of actually being built: Zero.

Photo: Guillermo Arias/AFP/Getty Images

Prototype No. 5:

Design grade: C

Key attribute: Slightly too experimental for a pointless exercise in xenophobia.

Chances of actually being built: Zero.

Photo: Guillermo Arias/AFP/Getty Images

Prototype No. 6:

Design grade: B

Key attribute: Fatally vulnerable to breach by Slenderman.

Chances of actually being built: Zero.

Photo: Guillermo Arias/AFP/Getty Images

Prototype No. 7:

Design grade: D+

Key attribute: “Infected rusty comb” nickname could catch on.

Chances of actually being built: Zero.

Photo: Guillermo Arias/AFP/Getty Images

Prototype No. 8:

Design grade: D

Key attribute: This one’s just straight-up boring.

Chances of actually being built: Zero.

Photo: Guillermo Arias/AFP/Getty Images
Which Mexican Border-Wall Prototype Is the Worst?