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Goldman Sachs Unveils Huge New Muppet-Appeasement Plan

Chairman and CEO of Goldman Sachs Group Lloyd Blankfein speaks during a TV interview after a meeting with U.S. President Barack Obama February 5, 2013 in Washington, DC. Obama was meeting with business leaders to discuss issues including immigration reform, economy, and deficit reduction.

You sort of have to admire Goldman Sachs's stamina. It's been what, like, three years since the Abacus lawsuit? TARP has been paid back, Fabulous Fab has already started his second career as a soccer-playing economist, everyone loves Lloyd Blankfein and his furry little beard, and Main Street has moved on to hating JPMorgan Chase.

It would be pretty easy, at this point, for Goldman to be all, "What financial crisis?" and go on with business as usual. And yet, the bank is still flagellating itself for its crisis-era sins and releasing long reports about all the ways it's going to stop doing Bad Things to its clients. One of those reports, called "The Business Standards Committee Impact Report" [PDF], was released at Goldman's annual meeting today. It's a fun read!

It is not a fun read. »

Reform the Corporate Income Tax, Don’t Ditch It

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WASHINGTON, DC - MAY 21: Apple CEO Timothy Cook testifies before the Senate Homeland Security and Governmental Affairs Committee's Investigations Subcommittee about the company's offshore profit shifting and tax avoidance in the Dirksen Senate Office Building on Capitol Hill May 21, 2013 in Washington, DC. A Congressional report released yesterday said that Apple, America's most profitable technology company, used a complex system of international subsidiaries and tax avoidance efforts to shift at least $74 billion out of the reach of the Internal Revenue Service between 2009 and 2012. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images)

Earlier this week, Apple CEO Tim Cook and several other Apple executives testified before a Senate subcommittee about Apple's fabled tax-avoidance strategies, telling a group of senators how they save billions of dollars a year in taxes through some creative accounting maneuvers involving Irish subsidiaries and profit-sharing arrangements designed to funnel profits to the places where they'll be taxed the least.

Lots of people quickly seized on the Apple hearings to argue that the corporate income tax — the tax Apple works so hard to avoid paying — should be abolished entirely. This isn't surprising. The corporate income tax provides a relatively small slice of the nation's tax revenues (10 percent in 2012), but it is one of the most controversial parts of the tax code, and calling for its abolition is a perennial hobby of econo-bloggers and fiscal conservatives. Megan McArdle has said that the corporate income tax “may be the stupidest tax we have.” Matt Yglesias doesn't like it; Ezra Klein says he's "sympathetic" to those who want to get rid of it; Evan Soltas suggests replacing it with a carbon tax. And the Wall Street Journal editorial page devoted yesterday's column to declaring the corporate income tax a "genuine outrage."

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Obama Will Slow Down Drone Strikes But Keep Control

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The MQ-9 Reaper Unmanned Aerial Vehicle taxis into Creech Air Force Base, Nev., March 13 marking the first operational airframe of its kind to land here. This Reaper is the first of many soon to be assigned to the 42nd Attack Squadron.

In a big counterterrorism speech at the National Defense University today, President Obama plans to lay out his national security strategy for his second term, detailing a strategy for closing Guantánamo and reorganizing the drone program. According to the New York Times, his hope is "to refocus the epic conflict that has defined American priorities since the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, and even foresees an unspecified day when the so-called war on terror might all but end." But while he will "reject the notion of a perpetual war with terrorists," he's not calling it off just yet. There are incremental changes to be made, but Obama is still in charge.

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The IRS Scandal Is Becoming a Conspiracy Theory

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U.S. President Barack Obama makes a statement on the situation regarding the Internal Revenue Service May 15, 2013 in the East Room of the White House in Washington, DC. Obama had a meeting with Senior Treasury Officials, including Treasury Secretary Jack Lew via telephone, on the situation regarding the Internal Revenue Service.

The Internal Revenue Service scandal remains alive and well as an agency screwup story. But agency screwup stories, even ones centering on the agency Republicans most despise and deliberately hobble, have limited political utility. What Republicans want is for the IRS story to be an Obama scandal. And as an Obama scandal, the IRS story is quickly following the same trajectory as the Benghazi story: a fever swamp obsession, in which understanding the fundamentally sinister character of the Obama administration is the predicate for interpreting all information or lack thereof, and the term becomes a code phrase shared by true believers to stand for deeper currents of left-wing machinations invisible to those outside the tribe.

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Fire Island’s New Pavilion Not Ready for Memorial Day

Plans to reopen the "sweaty, drunken heart" of Fire Island Pines, the Pavilion dance club, which burned down in 2011, have been delayed. "The rebuilding of this iconic nightclub was a tremendous undertaking which has almost fully come to fruition," said one of the companies behind the rebirth. "Our patron's safety is our top priority, and we will not open the doors until we are certain the club is 100 percent ready to go." That could be as soon as next weekend, but we forgive the impatience of anyone anxious to get their summer started right now.

Pussy Riot’s Maria Alyokhina Denied Parole

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Remember Pussy Riot? Two out of three of Russia's America-beloved feminist punks are still imprisoned, separated from their young children and each other, the Independent reports, despite Sir Paul McCartney’s stabs at diplomacy. (One member, Yekaterina Samutsevich, was released on appeal in October.) Today, Maria Alyokhina, 24, was denied parole because she “disobeyed prison authorities and failed to repent for her crime.” Alyokhina declared a hunger strike yesterday after being barred from attending her own parole hearing. Nadezhda Tolokonnikova's parole was denied last month, as well. In both cases, McCartney asked Russian officials to release the women, appealing to Russia’s “compassion,” “kindness,” and “great tradition of fair-mindedness.” It’s been more than a year since the women were arrested on charges of hooliganism after performing their “Punk Prayer” in a Moscow Orthodox cathedral.

Impossibly Tragic Tween Suicide Blamed on Cyberbullying

An angel-faced Queens 12-year-old named Gabrielle Molina hanged herself yesterday "after being relentlessly cyberbullied by her middle-school classmates," the Post reports. "The troubled tween left behind a heartbreaking note that recounted the torture she endured at the hands of bullies … She also apologized to her family and tried to explain the reasons behind her decision." There is nothing worse.

Barack Obama Was a Smooth 17-Year-Old

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Time magazine has finally obtained the smoking gun we've been waiting for from Barack Obama's radical past: senior prom photos. It was 1979, and a 17-year-old Obama wore a white jacket and "sipped champagne" on a double date with his basketball bud Greg Orme ("They were like brothers") and their companions for the night, one of whom leaked the pictures. But the real highlight is the future president's yearbook note to Kelli, Greg's girl. "You are extremely sweet and foxy," he wrote in blue ink and respectable cursive. "You really deserve better than clowns like us; you even laugh at my jokes! I hope we can keep in touch this summer, even though Greg will be gone. Call me up and I'll buy you lunch sometimes." It's signed with his phone number and a little heart. So much for brotherhood. See it all here.



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