They're still hung-over.Photo: Getty Images

It's the last weekend before the baseball playoffs start, so we highly recommend sleeping as much as possible. Your monthlong zombie march through the MLB postseason is about to begin. Rest up.

Here is what happened in the last week.

The Yankees clinched the division. (Shocking!) Eli Manning wore his big-boy pants. (Charming!) John Sterling had a record warble. (Shattering!) The Jets discovered Twitter. (Networking!) The Red Sox had a lousy clinch. (Uplifting!) The NFL Network is still not here. (Infuriating!) Joba bombed again. (Whatevering!) Jose Reyes got hurt again (Hamstringing!) John Amirante sang. (Antheming!) The Rangers prepared to start their season. (We have run out of progressive tense!)

That's it. See you Monday. Seriously, get some sleep.