Now that the Yankees have officially acquired Curtis Granderson from Detroit, there are many questions to ponder. Can Granderson be counted on to bat second? What number will he wear? And what does all of this mean for Johnny Damon? But the Internet is abuzz with the most important question of all: What will Granderson's personalized John Sterling home-run call be?
One blog suggests "a Granderslam!" or perhaps "a Curtis-y call!" Another site (and its commenters) offers up "The Grandy-man can!" and "A Yankee doodle Grandy!" (Thus far, we consider these to be the leaders in the clubhouse.) The John Sterling scholars at It Is High, It Is Far, It Is ... Caught chime in with "It's a Gran scorino!" And a paid columnist joins the fray with "A dandy for Grandy!" and "Curtis, ain't-he-grand-uh-son!" This is why there's an Internet, people.
Our own Ben Mathis-Lilley, operating under the assumption that Sterling is a student of 1980s hip-hop pioneers, adds "A Curtis blow!" to the mix. (Alternate call for line drives that leave the park in a hurry: "A Gran-master flash!") Personally, we're partial to "He hit it to Grandyland!" because then the fans just beyond the right-field fence could turn the porch into a Mannywood-style party every time he comes to the plate.
And lest you think these are all too nauseating to be used in an actual radio broadcast, we'll remind you that "Hinske with your best shot!" is all too real. The comments section is open for business, folks. Go crazy.