Like we do with college basketball, we simulated Saturday's Jets-Bengals game on our PlayStation 3, because we are a dork who watches a video game play itself. The results were not good for the Jets.
Despite a valiant comeback attempt, our virtual Jets — whom we put in those old-school green uniforms just for fun — fell short, 30–22. (That's more points than you can probably expect to see Saturday.) The problem, as you might suspect, was Mark Sanchez, who threw four interceptions, including one that was returned for a touchdown, strangely, by portly Bengals defensive tackle Domata Peko.
The Jets were down by sixteen with two minutes left, but a sixteen-yard touchdown pass to Tony Richardson, and a two-point conversion run by Shonn Greene, brought them within eight. Jay Feely, clearly inspired wearing the green, pulled off an onside kick, but Sanchez was sacked on the Bengals 40 as time expired. We actually sat and watched the whole game. It looked like a nice day in Cincinnati.
So, now you know. Call your bookies immediately.