You can maybe make an argument that charities aren’t always terribly efficient with their donations. You can maybe make an argument that there are fundamental problems with Haiti that will not be resolved simply by sending a $10 text message. You can maybe make an argument that certain geographic areas of the planet are more prone to disaster than others. But we’re pretty sure you can’t argue those things in an essay that contains the following sentences: “Shouldn’t much of the responsibility for the disaster lie with the victims of that disaster?” “People choose to influence their own existences negatively, whether by having too many children when they can’t afford them or by failing to recognize that living in a concrete bunker might not be the best way to protect one’s family, whether an earthquake happens or not.” And, the pièce de résistance: “Could some of you maybe use a condom once in a while?” Former NBA player Paul Shirley, ladies and gentlemen. To quote Deadspin’s Tommy Craggs: “Love that. Guy farts in a room, slams the door, and says he’s ‘trying to make ppl think.’”