As if just to make North Korea's welcome back home after the World Cup more difficult than it already was, Portugal blasted out seven goals in a 7–0 win over Korea DPR, essentially clinching a spot in the second round. We hope everyone frustrated by the lack of goals got up early enough to watch it. In the second game today, Chile took advantage of a ten-man Switzerland team to win 1–0; they're not officially in yet, but this puts them close. We'll have a big breakdown of all the groups this afternoon, after the Spain-Honduras matchup, but for now, gross Americans, enjoy your goals. Pffft.
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