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imaginary conversations

Jim Dolan Reportedly Called Jay-Z to Complain About the Nets’ Midtown Billboard

Dolan: How dare you put up a billboard a block from our arena!
Jay-Z: We can buy a billboard wherever we'd like. The NBA agrees.
Dolan: Oh, yeah? How would you like it if we bought a billboard in Newark and put my picture on it?
Jay-Z: Um, please do. I'll pay for it myself.
Dolan: What does that even mean, "The blueprint for greatness"?
Jay-Z: It's a reference to some of my albums.
Dolan: Well it's dumb! Everyone knows that the blueprint to greatness is to hire an incompetent executive, let him run the franchise into the ground for five years, reassign him, hire a new guy, spend two years shedding payroll, then hope that the best player in the league will accept your contract offer, which will be identical to all the offers he receives, except for the one from his hometown team, which will be worth more. See: blueprint!
Jay-Z: Why are you calling me and not Prokhorov, anyway? Is this because I won't sign your band?
Dolan: We opened for the Eagles, dammit!
Jay-Z: Yes, but that's because you're friends with the concert promoter. Also, you went on at 4:45 p.m. Also, it's, you know, the Eagles.

Irked Dolan calls Jay-Z about Nets sign [NYP]