One of the first notices of Bill Simmons, then back at his Boston Sports Guy AOL site, by ESPN editors was a long-since-lost column vivisecting the ESPYs as empty, pointless, and self-congratulatory. Last night, reading Simmons breathlessly fête Brooklyn Decker and name-check celebrities was depressing, particularly because it seemed part of a semi-organized ESPN effort to inform the planet just How Freaking Awesome the ESPYs Were. (Deadspin pointed out the absolute worst of these yesterday.) We have no particular problem with Seth Meyers — he's in the tradition of smart hosts at the dumb ESPYs, from Samuel L. Jackson to John Goodman to Norm MacDonald, though, to be fair, other past hosts include Tony Danza, Jeff Foxworthy, and Lance Armstrong — but we repeat: The ESPYs are an awards show for people who regularly win awards. It's ESPN at its absolute worst; this and "the Decision" have almost eradicated all the goodwill ESPN generated with its exemplary (Alexi Lalas aside) World Cup coverage. The good news: Actual sporting events continue tonight. Thank God.
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