Legalese is dull and bewildering even to the most scholarly of sports fans — of which we most certainly are not — so we won't pretend to break down everything involving Roger Clemens's perjury indictment. (After all, that's why God gave us Lester Munson.) Instead, we echo the whimsical question Red Eye's Andy Levy asked over Twitter yesterday: "Any word on what team Roger Clemens is choosing to be indicted as?" GREAT QUESTION. You have to think the Red Sox are safe here: Every accusation of PED use Clemens has ever faced has come after he left Boston. The primary years are 1998, 2000, and 2001, one of which he played in Toronto and the other two in New York. Even though Clemens was almost certainly still using in Houston, there is no solid proof of that, so you have to think they're out. And the charges against Clemens are for perjury, and the vast majority of Clemens's lying came either while he was a Yankee or after he'd "retired," with the Yankees as his last employer. So, if Clemens goes to jail, he'll be wearing a Yankees hat. (Because jails are all about hats.) Sorry.
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