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a grown man watching his video game play itself

Soon, Rex Ryan Will Start Trash-Talking Our PS3

We eagerly await the day when Bart Scott starts screaming into a television camera about how our PlayStation 3 doesn't respect him. As with all playoff games, we simulated the Jets-Steelers AFC Championship Game on Madden 11, and, like all playoff games, our PS3 picked the Jets to lose. (Over the last two years, the Jets are 0–6 in PS3-simulated games. Obviously, quite predictive.) The Steelers beat the Jets 30–23, breaking a tie game with a three-yard Mewelde Moore touchdown run with 4:37 left. The Jets drove down to the Steelers' four-yard line with 45 seconds left and no time-outs, but Mark Sanchez threw four incomplete passes from there, and the Steelers held on. The PS3 had little respect for the Jets defense: Ben Roethlisberger threw for 344 yards and two touchdowns, and former Illini Rashard Mendenhall ran for 127 yards and a touchdown. Sanchez was 14-for-38 with two interceptions, though LaDainian Tomlinson ran for 100 yards. (In the NFC Championship, the Packers beat the Bears 35–28.) Antonio Cromartie just called our PS3 an asshole.

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Photo: Will Leitch, off his television.