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miami marlins

New Marlins Stadium As Hideous As You Feared

The Miami Marlins play their first game at their new stadium on April 1, an exhibition contest against your very own New York Yankees. For months now, we've been told stories — tall tales, we assumed — of the hideous structure in center field that will fulfill all your worst stereotypes about Miami every time a Marlin hits a home run. (Click here for the grotesquerie. See? We weren't kidding.) That's so terrifying that we sort of assumed it wasn't really going to happen, that cooler heads would prevail, that such an assault on good taste and human decency wouldn't be allowed to live. But last night, P.J. Loyello, public relations feller for the Marlins, tweeted out a photo of the Marlins stadium's new infield, which had just been installed. (The grass is coming next week.) And right there in center field ... is that awful structure, standing even taller than we'd realized. This is all anyone's going to be talking about in three months, folks, and we're pretty certain it's a sign of the impending destruction of human morality. It's not too late to turn back, Marlins. Take down this wall. Please. [Twitter]

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Photo: PJ Loyello /@PJFISHPR