Do you like watching Mets games but hate all that blasted noise? You could be in luck. According to the eminent snoopers at the Post, the Mets have inquired with season ticket holders about the possibility of adding a "designated quiet-seating section" to Citi Field's stands. What? How?
Here's what it reportedly said in the survey:
“The Mets are considering adding a designated ‘quiet’ seating section with lower volume PA announcements and no music or cheerleading. How likely would you be to purchase tickets in that section?”
This proposed silent treatment would apply to a section in the second-deck, left-field seats that now go for between $20 and $78 a ticket, depending on the opponent.
It's not clear how the Mets would accomplish such a designation. I suppose it's just a matter of depriving the senses — walling off the section so the game is still visible but the game ops are somehow muffled. This seems like the kind of thing that could be accomplished by the individual ticket holder with earplugs, a good hat, different seats, or by just, ya know, staying home. But hey, if this makes some tranquility-seeking Mets fans happy and more likely to buy tickets, why not?
In the spirit of the organization's open-mindedness, here are ten suggestions for other unique sections:
1. A section where it doesn't rain. (No roof or awning or anything. It just doesn't rain there.)
2. A section where it always rains.
3. A section with reclining massage chairs instead of regular seats.
4. A section without seats where you just sit cross-legged on the floor because that's nice sometimes.
5. A section with a stadium employee who strategically positions himself between you and the game action so that you can't see Frank Francisco (somebody must want this, right?).
6. A section in which the floor has been replaced with troughs of fertile, densely cultivated soil so you can pick your own root vegetables during the game.
7. A section that blocks out the PA music and only plays Sean Paul's debut album, Stage One, on loop.
8. A section with one golden retriever per seat that's yours to pet throughout the game.
9. A section that is so far away from the action that it is, in fact, in Arthur Ashe Stadium because you just want to watch tennis.
10. A section in which your view of the field is obscured by a dozen or so people in pilgrim/Native American outfits who observe the events of the real game and adapt them into a real-time Thanksgiving-themed game reenactment that ends in a tie no matter the real result.
Just some ideas.
Update: As mentioned in the comments section below, a Mets official told WFAN's Boomer and Carton yesterday that the purpose of the quiet section would be to make the ballpark more welcoming to families with autistic children. (The New York Post article linked above didn't mention this.) In which case, good on them.