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bathroom sex

So, About That Yankee Stadium Sex Video ...

Oy.

By now, we assume you have seen — or at least are aware of, if you have shielded your virgin eyes — that video of the couple having sex from "the 2nd through the 4th or 5th inning." (A rare example of an American League East game not moving too slowly.) You can watch it if you want, though we do not recommend it, unless you're the sort who finds puddles of urine erotic. If you are that person, well, you must be having sex at baseball stadiums all the time and thus this is no big deal.

If you're still with us, here are a few random observations and takeaways from the video.

1. As pasty-white-guy as that fellow is, you can make a strong argument he still looks better than that Sabathia shirt than Sabathia would, in a similar position.

2. The actual video on Deadspin is flabbergasting in that the couple either doesn't notice the scores of people watching them (unlikely) or doesn't care (more likely). When you think of all the details each party had to ignore to continue the business there — the growing number of onlookers, the puddles of urine, John Sterling's voice coming over the loudspeakers — it's quite the impressive human achievement.

3. We're still pretty sure this falls in third place in the Lifetime AL East Stadium Sex Power Rankings, behind Skydome Hotel Sex and The Fenway Park Jorts Threesome. (Those links NSFW, obviously.) More NSFW stadium hijinks, from outside the division: U.S Cellular Field, the Oakland Coliseum, and the old Sun Life Stadium.

4. Those all make the Yankee Stadium sex video this weekend look like relative small potatoes.

5. We love this detail in the Daily News story: "The Yankees said Sunday that the team was aware of the situation but had no comment." We would give a lot of money to see Yankees PR chief's Jason Zillo when he was asked about this "incident."

6. We repeat one last time: The couple was almost certainly listening to John Sterling's voice while that was happening. Let's not forget the real tragedy here.

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