(Photo: Spencer Heyfron)

What do you do?
I’m an undercover loss-prevention investigator for Uniqlo.

What does that mean?
I deal with shoplifters. People steal from the store every day. A shoplifter isn’t a specific type—it could be little Billy, 10 years old, or Grandma, 60 years old. You never know.

How do you spot one?
By pretending to be a shopper. I walk around selecting clothes, going in and out of the fitting rooms. I have a radio, my handcuffs, and my earpiece. We have badges and everything, so the minute we identify ourselves, the suspects know they’re done for.

Don’t you get bored “shopping” all day?
I’m playing a character to a certain extent, but really, I’m just being myself, ’cause I’m a shopaholic, I love to shop.

What are some shoplifting methods?
We had a lady one time—she came in with a long skirt, and she actually folded up a bubble jacket and then shoved it into her crotch. I don’t know if she was wearing spandex underwear or what.

I assume you didn’t put the jacket back on the rack.
We had to toss it immediately. That was not a pretty sight.

Related:

• Archive: “Look Book”
• Table of Contents: Apr 13, 2009 issue of New York | Subscribe!