Set in a medieval fantasy world full of dragons and ghouls, The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim, offers players many choices, and reacts accordingly.
Will players rule the realm? Will they practice the dark arts? Will they adopt a dog? The possibilities are endless, as Patrick Lenton recalls.
worst part of Skyrim was when I found that dog whose owner died in a cabin, and then I of course had to adopt the dog bc i'm not a monster
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and I fucking love this dog, but i'm wondering around trying to solve quests and save the world and junk, but this good dog
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton this good dog always tries to help out fighting giants and dragons, and it's like 'NO DON'T HURT MY DOG'
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and i have to fight like 300% harder to save my dog from being eaten by a dragon and i've honestly never been so anxious
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton so then I find out that I can build a homestead and my dog can live there, so the next four days of my life are building shit
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton while bandits and dragons still attack my dog while i'm bloody mining ore and building a goddamn solarium for my pooch
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and then the dog won't stay in the house, and I discover I have to adopt a child first, and the child has to like my dog
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton so i go to an orphanage, to discover they are being mistreated by an evil woman, so I kill her
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton but then I can't adopt a child any more because they are free! So I wander Skyrim looking for a parent-free child somewhere
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and I don't even like children
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and then finally I find some girl begging in Whiterun, and she's all like 'thanks Mum!' (I play a lady cat-wizard)
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and then I discover that the girl WON'T MOVE INTO MY HOUSE BECAUSE I DIDN'T MAKE A PROPER BED FOR HER
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton SO I DECIDE TO BUILD A NEW HOUSE, ON A FUCKING LAKE BECAUSE I FIGURE IT WILL BE A GOOD PLACE TO RAISE CHILDREN OR WHATEVER
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton BUT FIRST I HAVE TO BECOME A THANE OF FALKREATH AND DO ALL THESE QUESTS TO HELP PEOPLE BEFORE THEY GIVE ME A PLOT OF LAND
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and my dog is STILL following me around STILL nearly dying in every fight, and I'm just a tense, scared motherfucker
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton anyway, then I meet another goddamn dog on the road, but it's a fucking demon dog, and it comes with me too
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and it's like - months have passed by in the game, the world is being invaded by dragons, and I'm just focused on real estate
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton finally i build my new lakefront house, and go find my daughter (who has been living on the streets for about two months)
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton it's like - LITERALLY, beggars can't be choosers, but bc i didn't make a nice bed for her, she sleeps on a bench in Whiterun
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and she moves in to my house, which is right next to a cave of wolves and a necromancers summoning circle, but whatev
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and I walk into the house, with my goddamn dog, waiting for her to adopt my dog so I can go save the world
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and she's ADOPTED A FUCKING RAT
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton THERE IS THIS GORGEOUS, BRAVE DOG WHO JUST WANTS TO SETTLE DOWN IN FRONT OF A HEARTH
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton AND SHE'S FLOUNCING AROUND WITH A GIANT RAT
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton in the meantime, I get married to a lady named Mjoll the Lioness, bc she's hot to trot and will be a good lesbian mother
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and weirdly, her 'friend' Aerin, moves into our house too
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and it's like - do we have a polyamorous relationship and are raising our homeless daughter and her rat? bc that's cool
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton so I'm like 'i'll go and find a brother for my new daughter' and he can adopt the dog. Hopefully.
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and it works out - the boy wants my dog, my dog likes the boy, everything is fine, the dog has been successfully adopted.
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and finally i can go back to being the saviour of Tamriel.
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton although I then discover that Mjoll's "friend" Aerin keeps yelling 'stupid dog' at my gorgeous dog.
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton so I waited until he was outside and I try to make him fuck off back to his OWN HOUSE
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton my theory was that I could shout him into the lake? anyway, I misjudged and shouted him into the necromancer circle
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and he died
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton and my wife saw me kill him, and attacked me, and I didn't want to kill her, so i ran away
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton so I just never went back to my house, but even though I destroyed my marriage and killed a man
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
@PatrickLenton i know that my dog is safe.
— Patrick Lenton (@PatrickLenton) April 5, 2016
THE END. THANK YOU
What a roller coaster. Congratulations to that virtual dog.
