The 100-Deliveryperson Poll

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Published Nov 21, 2010

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(Photo: Roxanne Behr)

Where are you from?
Mexico: 45
New York City: 14
USA: 13
(Minn., N.J., Wash., Texas, Pa., S.C., Colo., Ore., Kans., Conn.)
Ecuador: 4
China: 3
Guatemala: 3
El Salvador: 2
Poland, Ukraine, Malaysia, Colombia, Honduras, Bolivia, “East Asian,” Tunisia, Dominican Republic, Italy, Egypt, Bosnia, Greece, Korea: 1

Where do you live now?
Brooklyn: 46
Queens: 23
Manhattan: 12
Bronx: 11
Staten Island: 4
New Jersey: 3

Age
Under 20: 5
20-30: 53
30-40: 34
40-50: 6
Over 50: 2

Average hourly wage (not including tips)
$0–$5 : 25
$6–$10: 35
$11–$15: 6
Over $15: 25

Mode of transportation
Bike: 84
Car: 5
Foot: 10
Skateboard: 1

Ever had a bike stolen or vandalized?
Yes: 40
No: 56
“I’ve gone through a lot of bikes—maybe three.”

Have you been offered something besides money?
Yes: 18
No: 81

What?
Candy
Cookies
Vitaminwater
Weed
Bong hits
British pounds
Beer
Wine
“A B.J.”
Carrot cake

Strangest thing you’ve seen on a delivery?
“Naked people hiding behind the door.”
“I’ve seen lots of open robes.”
“This guy kept asking to touch my mind.”
“People having sex.”
“Dudes in tighty whities.”
“A young Rick James in his undies, billowing weed smoke, and a poodle.”
“One girl tried to get me in the shower with her.”
“A really big snake, maybe a python?”
“A man wearing a paper bag.”
“Stoned guy knocking on his own door and asking me to let him in.”

What’s the worst type of customer?
“Drunk people who don’t answer their phone.”
“ ‘Oh my God, you’re so fast. Here’s a dollar.’ ”
“Stingy ones.”
“They don’t say thank you, they just grab the food.”
“Maleducados.” (Rude people.)
“People who live at the end of the delivery zone.”
“The ones who take effing forever to open their door.”
“Ask, ‘Is it raining outside?’ when I’m dripping wet.”
“The woman who lives down the block in a fourth-floor walk-up, orders from us all the time, and only gives a 25-cent tip.”

Ever been robbed?
Yes: 12
No: 85

How many times?
Once: 3
Twice: 3
Three times: 4
Over five times: 1

Do you order takeout?
Yes: 58
No: 33

If yes, How much do you tip?
“No less than $5, always more than 15 percent.”
“I decide by the distance.”
“If you tip bad, the tip gods will come for you.”

Which is better, January blizzard or July heat wave?
Blizzard: 26
“Better tips.”
“I have a beard to protect me.”

Heat wave: 62
“It doesn’t even get hot here.”

Total tips for an average shift
$10–$30: 30
$31–$50: 33
$51–$70: 10
$71–$100: 8
Over $100: 4

What’s your favorite all-time delivery?
“It’s hard to name one, but a beautiful girl flirting, giving a good tip, and generally being friendly can make my night.”
“There’s an old woman who hugs me whenever she sees me.”
“I delivered in a snowstorm and the people let me warm up inside and then tipped extra. Made me believe in the human spirit.”
“$1,000 order, $200 tip, cash!”
“The Israeli hair-care company office with ten beautiful women.”
“Really,and they’re mostly all good.”