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Saturday Night in a Cab

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Joe.   

Midnight
71st Street between Fifth and Madison Avenues
Rob and Nora, married
Beresford

What do you do?
ROB: I’m an energy consultant.
NORA: I’m an investment banker—like, the scourge of the earth.

Where are you coming from?
NORA: A dinner party.
ROB: The most perfect form of entertainment; you can actually exchange ideas—hey, where are we going? We’re going to cross at 65th, right?!
NORA: Relax, Rob.

What was served at the dinner?
NORA: Mushroom soup and duck.
ROB: It was gorgeous.

Did you have good wine?
NORA: We had Champagne, Meursault, Pinot Gris from the Alsace, Pinot Noir, two bottles of aged California Cabernet ...

How often do you guys go to dinner parties?
ROB: Very rarely. They’re a dying breed, unfortunately.

What was the party like?
NORA: It was fun. We listened to Buffalo Springfield, followed by Hendrix.rob: It was old-school.

Were there table topics?
ROB: Bank taxes.
NORA: More of: If you’re a banker, feeling like you’re one step above a serial murderer in the press.

You’re feeling stomped on as part of the banker class?
NORA: I am. I worked for a company that failed when nobody else failed. I lost everything. Now I work for a bank that didn’t take a penny from the government, and it’s still a pariah.

12:22 a.m.
1st Street and First Avenue
Diane, 24; Molly, 22; Andrea, 24
Beresford

ANDREA: We’re coming from my grad school’s open bar for all the Ph.D. students. We had a great time. We got free drinks, got drunk.
DIANE: It was all women there except for this one straight guy.
ANDREA: I flirted with him, and he has my number. So that’s good, right? Are we proud of me?

Did you flirt too, Molly?
MOLLY: There were no male specimens of the heterosexual type there.
ANDREA: We wish there were more non-gay guys.
MOLLY: They’re all very good-looking.
ANDREA: Do you want to know that I want to bone the fourth-year [student]? Even though he’s not a jock, because I always date preppy non-Jewish jocks, and my mother would be so happy if I boned him. She’d love him. I always date, like, Republican jocks, and this does not work for my mother because we’re, like, liberal Jews and she wishes that I would bone and marry a liberal Jewish boy. But I think I’m cuter than him, so he would be flattered by that. I would never go for him, but he’s the only straight guy at Yeshiva. I have major frizz.
DIANE: You don’t look frizzy.
ANDREA: I have major curly Jewish hair.
MOLLY: I have something to say. We’ve been thinking a lot about this, because—
ANDREA: We’re all single, young, intelligent, well-educated, attractive women. MOLLY: And we meet douche bags who want to sleep with you and never speak to you again, or they’re, like, obsessed and too nice and it doesn’t work and they’re creepy.
DIANE: Way too obsessed.
ANDREA: And I’m getting my Ph.D. I’m saying that—
MOLLY: She’s a catch.
ANDREA: I’m a catch! I think I’m a catch and I have a relatively good amount of self-confidence. I’m in psychology, so I need somebody that’s evolved. New York needs to know that the guys need to be evolved.

What’s your ideal man?
ANDREA: I go for the Republican jocks.
DIANE: Oh God, Andrea, we’re going back to you!

Why are you attracted to Republican jocks?
ANDREA: I try to analyze myself, like, five times a day. Republican jocks are when I want to, quote, bone. But that’s not who I want to end up with, and it’s really tough for me to mesh [that with] my husband ideal, which is an evolved Jewish man who’s not too Jewish but wants to raise his kids Jewish. Hockey players attract me because they’re, like, douche-bag schmuckfaces, and I love that.

They’re schmuckfaces?
ANDREA: I love schmuckfaces!

Why?
ANDREA: That’s a good question. Maybe it’s daddy issues. I’ve been in therapy but I can’t figure it out.
MOLLY: It’s very personal.
ANDREA: I don’t care if people know I’m in therapy. We’re all in therapy, and we’re all normal girls.
MOLLY: Everyone goes to therapy. It’s the best hour of the week!

12:48 a.m.
17th Street between Park Avenue and Irving Place
Joe, 18
Oleg

What are you doing tonight?
JOE: Just getting back from a friend’s house. We had a baseball game, so I went over there after we played.

What position?
I’m a pitcher. Getting ready for college.

Where are you graduating from?
Berkeley Carroll.

Where are you going to college?
I haven’t decided yet. It’s between Seton Hall, Keuka College, Springfield College, and Quinnipiac University.


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