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Saturday Night in a Cab


Driver Oleg Roitman.  

Will you drink more?
GEOFF: Yes. We’ll take shots. But then probably go to bed and fool around in the morning.

Did you guys have babe action tonight?
ERIC: Oh, we grabbed sooo many girls.
GEOFF: Rick, he’s English, he got with two to three Indian girls.
RICK: I said no to the Indian girls, actually. They wanted cash money—straight up. ERIC: They knew we worked in finance, so they were like—
RICK: They were all, “Where are you going to take us next weekend? We’ve heard this restaurant’s bangin’.”

Are you guys players?
ERIC: We’re not players, but we crush a lot.

ERIC: I was just quoting Big Pun. He’s a rapper. Anyway, we’re not players. We’re Gs.
GEOFF: I was trying to get the split here, okay: Rick got the two Indian girls, Eric got the two black girls, and I got the two Asians.
ERIC: I also had one Asian with an ass.
RICK: Thick, thick.
ERIC: I almost tore my lateral meniscus because of her.

Are you okay?
ERIC: I mean, I survived.

You had love up in that club then?
ERIC: Oh, I got low. I usually don’t get low. Anytime a girl tries to get me to get low, I just throw the peace sign right at her forehead and walk away.

Is this a typical Saturday night for you?
GEOFF: This is more like a Friday night for us. Saturday is more risqué.

ERIC: The hot girls weren’t out tonight.
GEOFF: Also, because we met up with a bunch of girls from the country of Delaware, and they came here expecting, I don’t know, Kurt Cobain. But I don’t want to talk shit on them ’cause, like, they’re all good-looking.
ERIC: No, I’m sorry, they weren’t good-looking at all. I looked at them twice.
RICK: I was looking more at the men.

Rick, what percent guys versus girls are you?
RICK: In this city, more girls because they take [better] care of themselves.
GEOFF: So, 60-40.
RICK: 57.5 percent to 37.5 percent.

Do you ever go out with your gay buds to gay bars?
ERIC: He ditches us sometimes, but I don’t know where he goes.
GEOFF: Cock! He goes to the Cock. La Cock!

*Some names have been changed.


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