Humans
“At the outset of a zombie breakout, the CDC would issue a bulletin that would say: ‘These are the cardinal screening signs of zombie-ism. These are the discriminating factors that determine universally whether someone is infected.’ We’d utilize quarantine, just like in the polio epidemic. I know this is an unpopular opinion, but I think if there were a zombie outbreak, in the end we would win. If we keep our heads.” —Steven Schlozman

Zombies
“I would get to the top of the Empire State Building. I would try to enjoy the view for as long as I could, and when the zombies were about to get me, I would jump off. I understand that sounds somewhat bleak, but I’m fairly certain of two things: (1) I am in no way in any kind of physical condition to survive in this world; and (2) even if I were somehow able to survive, this is a world without cheeseburgers, video games, and comic books, and that is no world for me.­” —Robert Kirkman, creator, writer, and producer, The Walking Dead

Related:

• Archive: “Guides”
• Articles by Dan Kois
• Table of Contents: Oct 24, 2011 issue of New York | Subscribe!