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The Muppet-Human Gift Chain

An inter-species game of Secret Santa starring 23 cast members of The Muppets.

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Kermit

“I’m getting Amy waterproof over-the-knee boots so she can come visit me in the swamp.” (Calvin Klein Ava rain boots, $119 at Macy’s, 151 W. 34th St., at Broadway; 212-695-4400.)

arrowAmy Adams

“I would give Miss Piggy a pair of Tiffany shades. Now that she’s back in the limelight, she may need to hide.” (Tiffany & Co. sunglasses, $220; 727 Fifth Ave., at 57th St.; 212-755-8000.)

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Miss Piggy

Moi has gotten Sarah a subscription to Match.com. Unfortunately, Sarah and moi go for the same kind of guy: short, green, and bug-eyed.” (Match.com, $59.97 for three months.)

Sarah Silverman

“Now that marriage for everyone is finally legal in New York, I’m getting Statler and Waldorf two nights in the honeymoon suite at the Waldorf-Astoria! Get it?” (from $678; 301 Park Ave., nr. 49th St.; 212-355-3000.)

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Ken Jeong

“Nothing says you’re serious about show business like Dockers khaki pants.” (D1 khakis, $98 at Bloomingdale’s, 1000 Third Ave., at 59th St.; 212-705-2000.)

arrowRowlf

“I’m gettin’ Ken what we canines always get folks—a newspaper and new slippers.” (Ugg Ascot slippers, $100 at Lord & Taylor, 424 Fifth Ave., at 38th St.; 212-391-3344.)

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Neil Patrick Harris

“A Yamaha Disklavier! It’s the top-of-the-line player piano—I have one myself. Plus, since Rowlf doesn’t have actual fingers, it only makes sense.” (Yamaha Disklavier, from $19,500 at Faust Harrison Pianos, 207 W. 58th St., nr. Seventh Ave.; 212-489-3600.)

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Statler and Waldorf

Statler: “A suitcase and a trip to Tahiti.” Waldorf:“Neil is everywhere—TV, Broadway, movies. He needs a rest.”
Statler: “Yeah, and we need a rest too—from him! Go away, Neil!” (Longchamp Veau Foulonne suitcase, $815 at Longchamp, 132 Spring St., at Greene St.; 212-343-7444.)

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Fozzie

“Kristen is already a very funny lady, but for real laughs, nothing tops a rubber chicken! Look what it’s done for my career! Wocka! Wocka!” (Rubber Chicken handbag, $29 at Pylones, 842 Lexington Ave., at 64th St.; 212-317-9822.)

arrowKristen Schaal

“I would give Sam the Eagle a toupee styled like Ronald Reagan’s famously sleek pompadour. If Sam is ever feeling frustrated with the country’s morality, it should do the trick.” (Leading Man wig, $20 at Ricky’s, 375 Broadway, nr. White St.; 212-925-5490.)

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Sam the Eagle

“Whoopi is a proud American, so I am getting her a copy of every single presidential memoir ever written … with my notes in the margins.” (Memoirs, from $8 at Barnes & Noble, 33 E. 17th St., nr. Broadway; 212-253-0810.)

Whoopi Goldberg

“This Gainster lamp will provide light for Gonzo when he’s working on his art—and protect him on his outrageous adventures.” (Lamp, $185 at abyulighting.com.)

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Rashida Jones

“I love Swedish Chef’s quirky foreign mumble, but I’m getting him Painless English for Speakers of Other Languages. It’s time for him to communicate with his Muppet friends.” ($10 at Barnes & Noble, 555 Fifth Ave., nr. 46th St.; 212-697-3048.)

arrowAnimal

“Drums!!! Drums!!!” (First Act digital drum set, $80 at Target.)

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Rico Rodriguez

“I’d buy Animal a Let’s Rock Elmo because both he and Elmo are into drumming. I want them to have a rock-off to see who rocks more.” ($55 at Target, 139 Flatbush Ave., nr. Fourth Ave., Ft. Greene; 718-290-1109.)

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Gonzo

“Rico is getting a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles DVD set … plus, twice a week, I’ll come over to his house and show him how to use the kung fu grip.” ($65 at Barnes & Noble, 33 E. 17th St., nr. Broadway; 212-253-0810.)

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Swedish Chef

“Snøødeff derskee frimter un smacken dee looper floppen fur de høøp-høøp! Børk! Børk! Børk!” [translation: Chef is getting John some cookware so he can cook some delicious høøp-høøp for his lovely wife, Emily.]” (Le Creuset eight-quart stockpot, $80 at Bloomingdale’s.)

arrowJohn Krasinski

“Electric Mayhem knows better than anyone the priceless sound that can only come from vinyl, so I’m getting them a Crosley travel turntable.” (Portable turntable, $140 at Urban Outfitters, 162 Second Ave., nr. 10th St.; 212-375-1277.)

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Electric Mayhem

Dr.Teeth: “This lady rocks our world, so we’re getting her a Pet Rock.”(Angora-covered rock, $65 at Project No. 8, 38 Orchard St., at Hester St.; 212-925-5599.)

Feist

“Walter is a dreamer and a gambler who puts it all on the line, but since every penny counts, I’m getting him a piggy bank.” (Juliska charity piggy bank, $48 at Bloomingdale’s.)

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Jason Segel

“Kermit is a simple frog who asks for very little and is grateful for everything. I plan to give him a truly ‘green’ banjo made of reclaimed or recycled materials.” (Banjo uke, from $1,350 at myamoeukuleles.com.)

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Walter

“An autographed picture of the Muppets. Jason keeps eyeing mine, so I know he wants one.” (Muppet poster, $95 at Posteritati, 239 Centre St., nr. Grand St.; 212-226-2207.)

Photographs: George Pimentel/Wireimage/Getty Images (Feist); Patrick McMullan (Remaining Celebrities); John E. Barrett/© 2011 Disney (Muppets); Danny Kim/New York Magazine (Cupcakes, English Book, Longchamp Bag, Ninja Turtles, Obama Book, Wig); Courtesy of the Vendors (Remaining Gifts)

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