If You: Always Felt Like You Were Born in the Wrong Era
Your Party: Speakeasy Moderne
Stage 72; 158 W. 72nd St., nr. Amsterdam Ave.; 212-362-2590
Step into Jazz-Age Manhattan with the twenties cabaret party Speakeasy Moderne. Along with a 10 p.m.-2 a.m. open bar, a ticket scores you entertainment by singer/songwriter Dina Finai, burlesque performances by Puss n Boots, and music ranging from the golden age of Broadway to pop hits of today. $200
If You: Enjoy Lithe Ladies
Your Party: Murray Hill's Annual NYE Extravaganza!
The Slipper Room; 167 Orchard St., nr. Stanton St.; 212-253-7246; 9:30 p.m.
There’ll be booze, boobs, bawdy entertainment, and rapper Champagne Jerry (Neal Medlyn), with burlesque stunners and their humble ringmaster, Murray Hill, at his annual NYE blowout. $35-$100
If You: Are a Swinger
Your Party: Ring in the Swing
Allen Room, Jazz at Lincoln Center; 10 Columbus Circle; 212-721-6500; 8:30 p.m.
If you know it don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing, this jazz party is for you. Music will be provided by the Pedrito Martinez Group and the Dominick Farinacci Swing Dance Octet, with special guest-vocalist Charenee Wade, and there'll be a southern-style buffet, should you need to rest your feet and look out on the spectacular Columbus Circle views. $325
If You: Don't Mind Striking Out
Your Party: Bowling
Bowlmor Times Square; 222 W. 44th St.; nr. Eighth Ave.; 8 p.m.
Strike out this New Year—in a good way. At Bowlmor Times Square, you can ring in 2014 with private bowling, plenty of food, an open bar, a D.J., and hosts Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici, The Bachelor stars, who know more than anyone that it's hard out here for a pimp. $65-$185.
If You: Like Things Anonymous
Your Party: A Masquerade Ball
Lavo; 39 E. 58th St., nr. Park Ave.; 212-584-2700; 8:30 p.m.
You don’t have to wear a costume to this masquerade ball, but what fun would that be? D.J. Jeffrey Tonnesen will spin for a night that includes a four-hour premium open bar, hors d’oeuvre, and a toast at midnight. Who will you want to be at midnight? $160
If You: Want to Party With Celebs
Your Party: New Year's Eve at Madame Tussauds
Madame Tussauds; 234 W. 42nd St., nr. Seventh Ave.; 212-201-0735; 8 p.m.
The celebrities at this shindig—just a block away from the ball drop—will be totally fake, but how different is that from real life? (Zing!) Snap your pics with them anyway while enjoying a buffet, passed hors d'oeuvre, a D.J., a 4-D attraction (3-D cinema enhanced with special effects, including wind, snow, mist, and scent), and, if you're extra baller, a live and up-close view of the ball drop in Times Square. $85-$335