What Do You Do for Inner Peace?

• Tapping a barometer brings me inner peace—it instantly transports me shipboard and a long, long way from Manhattan.

• Walking to work, instead of taking the subway. The long walk calms me down.

• Sunday night bball, 8–10, at the Brooklyn Y on Atlantic Ave.

• Taking the time to send a hand-written card to a friend.

• Posting anonymous dating ads monthly in the “men seeking men—misc. romance” section of Craigslist. Even though I am already sort of dating someone. Just in case.

• I lie on the floor and turn the fan on.

• Watching my sons splashing around at the seashore (would like a video tape of this to play in old age).

• Generosity. When I manage to remember to help other people out for no reason, and my ego subsides momentarily, I feel better.

• Push the envelope of Internet porn.

• A Beefeater martini and, guilt permitting, a Camel Light.

• Smoking a joint while sitting on the deck down by the Seaport that overlooks the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges, then eating an ice cream from the ice-cream man. Inner Peace City.

• I only have time for a bit of chocolate, which is rinsed down with three-quarters of a bottle of red wine—because I can’t have my wife accusing me of drinking a whole bottle of wine myself. Preferably, she has a glass, then I finish the rest.

• I get satisfaction mainly from work—from capturing something, getting it just right. A complete feeling when it happens, but it hardly ever does.

• I make do with abusing strangers in basketball and fondling old books.

• Church. Specifically the group prayer that happens early on in each service, where everyone prays silently for a minute or so and then the minister says a prayer out loud on everyone’s behalf for a couple of minutes.

• I make lists. Because if something is on a list, I don’t have to worry about it as much.

• Try to travel alone at least once or twice a year. And Sunday lunch with a bottle of wine.

• Hopefully breast implants (being put in next week). Although, this is more my husband’s definition of inner peace.

• I watch soccer on TV, preferably teams I don’t care about too much. That way I don’t get too worked up about what happens while still getting some action to enjoy.

What Do You Do for Inner Peace?