New Yorkers are far, far more attractive: It’s true beyond question, at the very least for women.

New York: four seasons, including a real summer and a romantic, if freezy, winter.

London: one season, which is shit.

It’s a classist place with little “bootstrap” sensibility. Aspiring artists can’t make money waiting tables or tending bar because nobody tips; they have to temp or enjoy independent wealth.

The Tube is expensive, shuts down early, and runs so deeply underground that riders often end up with black snot.

Drunk men try punching you, for no reason.

Non-white people get yelled at by drunk white people.

Utilities don’t work. No sinks in most bathrooms; showers electrocute you.

Everything’s badly organized: Heathrow worst of all.