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Meter Maid Confidential

A few thoughts from an anonymous traffic-enforcement agent.


You must hear some crazy excuses.
People will say, I get migraines and my medication makes me too sleepy to move my car. Or they’ll say, I was coming! But you didn’t get here!

How do you respond when someone gets angry?
You can’t let it get to you. People say, I hope your mother dies from cancer. I say, You have a nice day. The sun is shining. God woke me up today. God’s going to wake me up tomorrow.

Do you ever feel guilty?
No, it’s not personal. It’s a job.

Do you like giving tickets to nicer cars?
No, though if you have enough money for a Mercedes, park it in a garage.

What if someone leaves a note on their dashany leniency?
No, because if I let you get away with it, then Joe Blow and Sally can get away with it. And eventually, that will lead to city chaos.

You must have seen a lot.
I could write my own book.


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