1 Reggie Watts, comedy’s “black Galifianakis,” performs at (Le) Poisson Rouge.
2 Jollyship the Whiz-Bang’s Straight Up Vampire—a puppet musical about the history of vampires, set to the music of Paula Abdul—is at Joe’s Pub.
3 Have your fifteen minutes of fame at First Saturday Dance Party at the Brooklyn Museum, an homage to Warhol’s Factory.
4 Zooey Deschanel and Matt Ward do their She & Him thing on Governors Island.
5 The French Connection screens at Bryant Park—just to remind you how much better you have it now by comparison.
6 Pick up Big Boi’s CD Sir Lucious Left Foot. Or watch luscious Barbara Stanwyck kick Walter Huston’s butt in The Furies at Film Forum.
7 Brion Gysin: Dream Machine opens at New Museum. And Britain’s award-winning reality show The Choir starts on BBC America.
8 Karole Armitage’s booty-shaking ballet “Itutu” is at Celebrate Brooklyn! Or fall in love (again) with Annie Hall at Brooklyn Bridge Park’s Movies With a View.
9 See summer’s hottest indie, The Kids Are All Right, starring Julianne Moore and Annette Bening—married, with children.
10 Peter Stein’s production of Dostoyevsky’s The Demons plays, appropriately, in an eerie warehouse on Governors Island (Lincoln Center Festival).
11 Catch the World Cup Final at your favorite bar, then hit OkayAfrica’s Celebrate Brooklyn! party, including the Roots and Fela! star Sahr Ngaujah.
12 Baritone Nathan Gunn sings at the Metropolitan Opera’s Summer Recital Series, starting tonight in Central Park.
13 Stake your place on the Great Lawn for the first of the Concerts in the Parks, featuring the New York Philharmonic and the Shanghai Symphony.
14 The Blind Boys of Alabama harmonize with Allison Moorer, Ralph Stanley, Ray Benson, and more at the Lincoln Center Festival.
15 The Jewish Museum hosts the Latin klezmer stylings of the Sexteto Rodriguez Cuban- Jewish All Stars.
16 Chris Nolan’s highly anticipated Inception opens. Or catch Bill T. Jones’s Fondly Do We Hope ... Fervently Do We Pray at Lincoln Center Festival.
17 The annual Siren Music Festival returns to Coney Island, with Matt & Kim, Ted Leo and the Pharmacists, and the Pains of Being Pure at Heart.
18 Last chance to see how A Disappearing Number makes compelling theater from mathematics. Or keep it low brow at 3rd Ward’s free annual Pig Out! Brooklyn.
19 Introduce your child to the wonders of Charlie Chaplin’s The Circus at the Film Forum. You could also head to MoMA for a Matisse-a-thon.
20 Rufus Wainwright plays a benefit at Celebrate Brooklyn! Also: new CDs from Sheryl Crow and Department of Eagles.
21 Beloved sourpuss Lewis Black hosts “The Daily Show and Friends,” with guests Rob Riggle and John Oliver, at SummerStage.
22 Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros play Webster Hall. Or head down to Castle Clinton for a freebie concert of Antibalas’s nouveau Afrobeat.
23 Voxare Quartet celebrates minimalist master composer Terry Riley’s 75th birthday on Bargemusic’s floating mini concert hall.
24 M.I.A. stars, but the superhot Sleigh Bells could be the bigger draw at the Hard NYC music festival on Governors Island.
25 Martinis for everyone: Mad Men is back, with the season premiere on AMC.
26 Didn’t score tickets to see the Flaming Lips at SummerStage? Watch the equally bizarro Monty Python and the Holy Grail at Bryant Park.
27 Roy Lichtenstein’s still-life paintings at Gagosian are almost gone. Or hit the beach with Gary Shteyngart’s new novel, Super Sad True Love Story.
28 See how hard a string quartet can rock when Ethel plays with Adam Schlesinger, Tom Verlaine, and others at Lincoln Center Out of Doors.
29 Al Pacino is Shylock in Shakespeare in the Park’s Merchant of Venice. Imagine the histrionics! And Jersey Shore is back on MTV. Imagine the histrionics!
30 Head to Williamsburg for Animation Block’s off-the-wall shorts program. Or keep it inside with Get Low, starring Bill Murray and Sissy Spacek.
31 The fierce ladies of Pistolera play their accordion-driven Latin alt-folklorico at the Queens Theatre in the Park. They do a mean version of Bob Marley’s “War.”