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The Quick-Fix Face-Off

To test the Etiquette Checker’s fetor-detecting capabilities, not to mention the effectiveness of a dozen gums, mints, and other maskers, our writer soiled his mouth with garlicky onion dip and coffee, then exhaled. He’s judged twice: first by the breathalyzer, then by his wife.

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Illustrations by Peter Arkle

The Verdict on the Topland Etiquette Checker? In our machine-versus-human showdown, the breath analyzer’s read deviated from the human experience 43 percent of the time, which is awfully high for something that green-lights breathing on strangers. Listen to your wife instead.


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